Have you ever had a day where you felt like a complete failure as a parent? Today was one of those days where you want to pull every last hair on your head right out! I took Corbin in to a doctor this morning to get some tests done. We talked about it DAYS in advance. I told him a nice lady would look in his ears and check his eyes. Then she would play some fun games with him. I told him I would be there the entire time. And if he was well behaved he would get an entire piece of gum to himself....to do whatever he wants with. I believe he said "Mommy I promise I will be a good boy" on our way there. But sometimes it is SOOO hard to be good. We got to the school where the testing took place. Corbin was anything but an angel. He refused to cooperate. He put his hands over his eyes when the doctor tried to check them and he cried...more than once. It was a nightmare! Thankfully the next round of tests are with a different doctor. On the way home he asked if he could have his "dum" I told him that he broke his promise. I explained that gum is a privilege that only good boys get. He screamed and cried. But no way was I going to give him gum. We talked for a VERY long time about the events that took place at the doctor. We had a rough afternoon after we got home. I got angry at everything he did and said. I got snippy with him. I was so mad at the way he acted at the doctor. When Matt walked through the door I was ready to lock myself in a room and hide from my kids. But, I had a stake training meeting I had to go to.
I left and walked to the stake center. When I got there we sang "I'm trying to be like Jesus." we got to the words " Love one another as Jesus loves you. Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought. For these are the things Jesus taught." I immediately started crying. I thought of how frustrated and short I had been with Corbin all day because of his behavior at the doctor....I felt awful. Sometimes I forget that he is three...not thirteen. I love that the Lord knows me so well that he knows exactly when and where I need to hear a specific song. I'm glad tomorrow is a new day, and I get another chance to teach and love my little boy. I get another chance to love him the same way that Jesus loves me. I get another chance to try to show kindness in all that I do. And I get another chance to be gentle and loving. Whew...I'm glad I get another chance.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
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4 comments:
I had to cry when I read this, because I seriously had that day today with my kids. Mersadie just never listens and is so frustrating sometimes. Jalie is equally frustrating some days and ALWAYS acts out when we go out in public. Always. I feet bad because I got angry with both of them today and I forget too, that they are just little and don't always understand. I hate having expectations, so I am trying to not have them anymore. I never should have had them in the first place! But I am glad you were able to have those songs touch you and soften your heart. I wish I had that today. I am sitting here feeling really bad because of earlier while the girls are napping. So THANK YOU for sharing this because it made me think. I really appreciate that :-) Don't feel bad, I know you are a wonderful mom. It can be frustrating raising children, but it is worth more than anything else in this world. :-D Hope you are doing great-sorry for the novel!
Every mother needs that as her theme song! Every good mother loses her patience, so don't feel bad! :) Anyways, I admire how gentle and loving you are to your boys and I hope each day I am more like you! Hang in there...in the end, we (the parents) are just pretending to know what to do! :)
I love you, Stef. I think you are an amazing mom. So you don't ever have to worry that you're not. I am always so grateful that I have such a great lady taking care of my nephews. I love you guys--one and all!
Ditto what Nancy said. No worries.
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